I am trying to get better at writing daily, but it is a struggle. Today is a day to celebrate however and something I feel important to document for myself.
I am 21 years cancer free today. I had to have a full hysterectomy at 25 and it was really devastating for me. I had lost the chance to have children in 2001 when I was pretty much forced to get my tubes tied. When I gave birth to my second son, Anthony, his grandmother Vicki had given them a copy of my consent that I had conveniently left at home and was going to not get them tied. I was so out of it with the medication I didn’t realize I could retract my consent. Before I knew it, it was done. What would I say about that really I had signed the papers already. She was such an evil and vindictive woman to everyone.
Anywho, I am grateful to be alive. So many times I have looked at the things that I have went through in my life, like what I mentioned above, and thought “why me?” Like so many others I am sure. I was so mad at the fact that I went through things and that my choices landed me there I never stopped to think of what brought me through those times. Many things that happened to me should have ruined me and broke many others but God kept me. He saved me and I over looked that very important fact for way too long.
You will hear me say this over and over, I have his nagging that won’t let me go on writing and maybe my story is just one more testament to God’s love and his power to protect and heal us through just about anything.
I am trying to stay light today, so I am going to say that the BF and I have set a date for the wedding. We have known we were going to marry each other from pretty early on, as it is both important to us. Dating until we die just isn’t who we were meant to be. As evident by our three failed attempts at marriage before. Yes, it is the fourth marriage for us both lol. I am giving ol’ Elizabeth a run for her money! You young in’s may want to investigate that as you won’t know what I am talking about. I am very excited as we both want a church wedding and surrounded by family and friends that love us. This is also something we haven’t done in our past marriages, rooted it in faith. None of my exes are religious or were religious, and neither was his. He wasn’t into church or religion until we started dating and I expressed how important my faith was to me and that was something I wouldn’t negotiate on. So I invited him to church with me and we have been going faithfully every week since. Now, attending church does NOT make anyone a Christian or better than another but what it DOES do is encourage growth in Christ and to live a better life no matter what you take from it. We are both very excited about it. At our age who needs long engagements lol. We will be married in just about six months! I called my Mamaw today who has been the biggest supporter in our marriage, and she praised god out loud with the news! I pray he keeps her with us long enough to attend as that would mean the absolute world to me!
Well, enough for now, time to get ready to go to therapy, which means there may be a much longer post later lol. I hope everyone finds something good about their day no matter how shitty it may seem! Find the blessing, it is there, I promise!
~Rose.
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